learning to be

Here I sit, striving to be a human being.

Currently, and for as long as I can remember, I've been a human doing. "A lady traveling at 80 miles per hour with her hair on fire."  "You have GOT to slow down, Lizzie."  I can't help it, you see. I come from a long line of achievers. I see a need, and I want to take charge-- DO something about it! It is not in me to sit back and watch someone else do... wait for someone else to do... or worse yet, watch the need not be met.  I want to help. I want to fix. I want to comfort. I want to DO.

And there it is.

My need.

March, 2015: Learning to crochet in London

My need to learn to sit back and learn to relax. Learn to simply BE. Learn to give up my worries to God and move forward confidently in life, creating the life I want and need.


I am impatient, and now that I've discovered that I need to learn to simply be, I want to be good at it!  I want to be proficient at just being! And I want to be good at BEING now!    However, this is part of the problem. This journey we call life is just that-- a journey. Like Fr. Tim said at mass a few weeks ago: Each one of us is always a work in progress. We are never complete. We are constantly growing, developing, changing, learning...

Weeks, months, and years of constant DOING brought me here. To a place and time where my job is to BE... to learn to sit in silence... to listen to myself... to grow in my relationship with my husband, my family, and my friends... to feel okay with making mistakes... to be easier on myself... to understand myself just a little bit better so that I can work towards living the life I want to live, rather than living the life that I think I need to live.

So here I sit... learning to be.