Grateful for my OWN SELF!

[Note: I first wrote this as part of a "Monday Morning Meditation" to be shared with my colleagues at Children's Wisconsin. It was originally shared in September of 2019. Enjoy!]
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As part of our bedtime routine, my young daughter, June, and I have started praying an adapted toddler version of the Examen. The Examen is a lovely Jesuit prayer technique that involves these 5 steps:

1.     Become aware of God’s presence.

2.     Review the day with gratitude.

3.     Pay attention to your emotions.

4.     Choose one feature from the day and pray on it .

5.     Look toward tomorrow. (https://jesuitprayer.org/examen/ )

Specifically, my daughter and I tend to focus our prayer around gratitude. As we lay in bed, I ask her, “Junie, what are you grateful for today?” When she was a few months over two and just starting to actually string together words as sentences, she once answered me, “I’m grateful for my OWN SELF!” I laughed so hard, gave her a kiss, and told her she should always be grateful for her own darling self. I will never forget that little voice proclaiming her love for herself.

As adults, we are often prone to self-doubt. Earlier this morning, a mother of one of my infant patients just exclaimed that she is always her worst critic. How common is this? How often do you find yourself second-guessing your recommendations or focusing on your “areas of growth” rather than on your strengths? We constantly feel pressure to be better, to be smarter, to do more—as providers, as employees, as parents, as friends, as daughters and sons.

When you were a child, whether or not you voiced it, you likely felt proud of and grateful for yourself. Do you still feel that way?  [Hint: YOU TOTALLY SHOULD. You are amazing.] Please allow this Monday Morning Meditation to be your reminder to be good to yourself today and to appreciate all of your quirkiness and uniqueness!

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

 – Buddha

Be well, dear ones!

Come and Rest in Me

It has been 14 days since the United States starting temporarily shutting down. Fourteen days since I have really left my house/sidewalk or hugged people outside of my three immediate family members.
I learned on the afternoon of Friday, March 13^th that, because of the novel Coronavirus beginning to sweep and terrorize our nation, both my youngest’s daycare and my oldest’s school were to be closed for the foreseeable future.  On Sunday night, March 15^th, I learned that my outpatient pediatric physical therapy clinic would be closed to all but the most urgent of patients for the upcoming weeks.  While I am able to do certain work projects and tasks remotely, the majority of my work—the most important part… actually treating the patients!—is  being postponed. On Tuesday, March 17^th, my husband’s office temporarily closed, and he, too, is now working from home amongst our craziness. We are grateful, as so many family and friends are unable to work or losing their jobs completely.
These days, in between completing chunks of work responsibilities, I am spending all of my hours playing with, feeding, entertaining, reading to, cleaning up after, and loving on our (Kurt's, too!!) two baby girls. June is three-and-a-half—and most certainly “NOT a baby, but a big girl!”—and Rosie babe is 22 months old. A very up-front-and-center aspect of my life, currently, is that I am also expecting our third baby; this babe is due one week from today.
I think it goes without saying… but this is not the easiest time to bring a baby into the world.
I am grateful for my health-- and for the health of the baby. I am grateful that both Kurt and I have been granted the ability to work from home. I am grateful to my medical providers and know that they are taking every precaution to keep the hospital as safe as possible for everyone. Overall, I feel quite calm about the whole ordeal, though as you can imagine, I would love to deliver this baby TODAY.  I am working on letting go of those expectations/hopes and am settling in for the (relative!) long haul.

I will admit, though, that it IS a bit daunting to think of the ways in which we'll need to alter our post-partum plans and supports. Because of the virus, we are having to adjust our plans for June/Rose childcare while delivering the baby. June's classmates have already set up a meal train, and we have decided now to politely decline, so as to minimize our social contacts. We may also have a limited hospital stay once the baby is born and/or need to adjust our frequency of pediatrician visits in the initial few months. As of my OB appointment two days ago, Kurt will be allowed in the delivery room, but I was informed that could very well change in the coming days.  I have had to be quite adamant with family members that no one will be seeing the babe any time soon if there is not 100% follow-through with our Wisconsin “Safer at Home” mandate. It is highly likely that all grandparents, aunts, and uncles will be meeting our new baby through Facetime.
For now, I pray that our baby is healthy and that labor and delivery goes smoothly. I pray that we can get in and out of the hospital quickly. I pray that the big girls stay healthy while being cared for by family members and that none of my family members or friends are diagnosed with Coronavirus. I pray for all of my colleagues working on the front lines of the pandemic. I pray for my aunt who suffered a stroke three weeks ago and has not been allowed visitors at the hospital. I pray for all those who must be at work during this challenging time, providing for the needs of our communities. I pray for government and healthcare leaders, that they may be aligned, speak truthfully, and act wisely, so as to reduce the number of deaths and the toll this virus takes on our nation.  I pray that we find ways to care for one another during this time of physical distancing. I pray for the most vulnerable among us—particularly for those who do not feel safe in their home. Mostly, I pray for an end to this horrible virus that is spreading rampantly around the world.
I looked back through my prior posts tonight, which mainly have been kept private, as this blog was just meant as a way for me to work on myself. [Plus one guest post thrown in there! Thanks, friend!] After all, we are all a work in progress, and I found this to be a nice tool to focus my efforts. As I read these posts, I found that many of them seem quite relevant in today's crisis. Over the past 5+ years, I have been working on learning to be more present, to slow down, to have faith in myself, and to be flexible. My hope, in the coming weeks, is to utilize my "Teaching the Lady to Be" blog as a way to reach out with comforting words, to allow people (strangers?!) a chance to virtually connect, and to hopefully be a resource and companion for expecting and/or new parents in this time where visitors will be minimal.  


Matthew 11:28 à “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Be well, dear ones. You are so loved.