Resting in Ambiguity

In light of recent (non-COVID-related) challenging news that I have received, I have been thinking more and more to myself: “Man, everything is so darn ambiguous right now! I just want answers!”

 And, YES, everything today IS certainly ambiguous.

In the midst of [im!]patiently waiting for the world to return to a more predictable, more comfortable state, I found myself Googling [Shout out to Merriam-Webster and Oxford English Dictionaries] the definition of “ambiguity:”

Ambiguity (noun): 

• A word or expression that can be understood in two or more possible ways.

• Uncertainty  

• Inexactness       

I’ve read and have heard on many accounts in the past month that we are living in ‘uncertain’ times, and that is true. But the word ‘inexactness?’ THAT resonates with me. Everything feels so inexact, and I, for one, am not particularly a fan.

·      When will an effective vaccine be ready?

·      When will tests become more readily available for our community?

·      When will owners be able to re-open their restaurants, shops, and salons?

·      When will surgeries and other medical appointments, which have previously been considered quite urgent, be scheduled?

Hey, COVID!
Naomi has a message for you.

·      Are my young children noticing these changes; are they confused?

·      When will I be able to visit my relatives again?

·      Is a second wave going to come? When? How intense will it be? How can we best help mitigate the risk?

·      What will our economy look like in 2 months? 2 years? 10 years?

·      For how long will the (AMAZING! INCREDIBLE! HERO!) frontline workers be able to maintain this pace, and how do we best support them and their mental and physical health?

·      I just sneezed; could this be Coronavirus? 

The list of questions goes on and on.

Years ago, when I was feeling particularly stressed about a decision, my MUCH older and wiser husband (haha!) lovingly reminded me that part of life is learning to sit in the ambiguity. Is it comfortable? No. Would I prefer to be sure? To have clear answers? For things to be stable? Heck yes.

My sweet husband reminds me that:

1. The past is finite.
2. There are infinite possibilities of what the future may hold.
3. Today-- this current moment-- is what we have.

To stress about what may happen... to invent hypothetical scenarios in my mind... to marinate on worst-case scenarios... just is not a very healthy or helpful practice. In Luke 12:25, this question is posed: "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" 

So, while I would prefer to have more answers, I will instead muster my courage and rest in the inexactness of the present day. Here is my resting-in-ambiguity quarantine to do list:

• Continue my social distancing/curve-flattening efforts with my family.
• Choose joy.

• Focus on gratitude.

• Be gentle with myself-- and with others.

• Connect with my loved ones frequently.

• Take deep, grounding breaths.

• Move my body.

• Give (and receive!) at least 11 hugs per day-- the magic number, I hear!!

• Play.

• Seek peace through prayer.

• Spread love where I am able.

• Believe that WE CAN DO THIS.